The Secret Lives of Elves
by Buggeryardyyoho
Summary: I was just minding my own business and well, let my curiosity go too far... I didn't mean to end up here! And as a GUY ELF for that matter! /Follow the journey of a lost soul in Middle Earth as she learns about the secret world of the elves, meets various people, and perhaps falls for the most unlikely person... ( And no, it's not Legolas or Thranduil)/
1. Chapter 1 Damn, That Hurt

There's only one place where I feel true peace.

It's while I walk alone in the forest near my home. I remember the first time I stepped foot on its soil, my shoes impressed the soft ground solidifying the connection between me and the earth. It was quite invigorating. I recall a doe sleeping a ways off while I was making my way through the clearing. She turned her head towards me and our eyes met. I felt a strange peace between us, and then I kinda regretted I didn't have my cam on me to take a pic. I had to leave the forest quickly that day… but ever since, I have always come back to explore. The trails are short, laid down by citizens from town long ago, so I go off the paths. I seek refuge where no one goes. I'm comforted by the forest's looming trees, from the shade, by the noises, and the scents.

It's funny because sometimes I feel like an elf or hobbit will cross my path at any given moment...

Pshaa… I wish.

There's a creek that runs through the thickets. I've seen it from the top of a small cliff. Well, not even a cliff (because that would mean I'm like a gazillion feet from the ground), there is a steep cut off of land though, and it'd hurt if I were to drop from where I'm standing at the moment. There's even a sign that warns this danger. But today I can't resist. It's darker below. And look at all of that forest! I think my curiosity might kill me one day. Most of the time I tell myself the only thing to fear is fear itself. That's my justification for doing the stupid things I do.

I wish I had listened to my inner warnings though.

Today, before I could even make my way down slowly, the rock from under me dislodged.

Today… I fell to the depths below.

And I did not land in the creek.

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I don't even remember screaming as I fell. Just a shout of surprise and

SPLAT

"UGHHhhh" I was on the ground doubled over in pain. "Damn it…that hurt…"

I hope I didn't break anything…

Then something made me snap to my senses _Why did my voice just sound like a bass drum?_ My eyes flicked from side to side. But before I could think further a shadow cast over me. I struggled to look up.

"You." A powerful voice echoed through the trees. I saw an outline of a figure. "What are you doing here so far out in the forest?"

I was so shocked all I could do was blink. I mean, he was gorgeous. Long blond hair adorned a chiseled face and brooding brown eyes. He had a perfect cupids bow and aristocratically pointed nose. His build was powerful and enhanced by earth toned armor. His skin was so pale even I could see it in the denseness of the forest. Wait, denseness? I looked at either side of him. Uhhh this wasn't the same forest I roamed. Thick and dark, this forest seems like something out of fantasy wallpapers I search online… the ones with the mystical creatures and… elves.

Oh boy, I think I hit my head, hard. Have I forgotten what my own forest looks like? Why does this place look so completely different?!

"I don't know…" I managed to say finally as I met his gaze again. Then I brought my hand to my throat. I felt an enlarged Adam's Apple. Holy… Am I?

No.

This is-

"You don't know?" He looked at me incredulously. I noticed his hand was placed cautiously on the hilt of his sword. I felt a surge of panic. Who is this guy? Some guard? Why does he have elvish looking armor on? Is he going to lop my head off or something?!

"Are you… an elf?" 100% dead serious

I felt like my eyes were about to pop out of my head any second.

His eyes narrowed from suspicion to confusion. Then I saw several other equally beautiful (and I might add intimidating) elven warrior people make their way through the clearing. Several mixed females among strong men, their hair colors varied from deep, fox red to the palest blond. I inhaled sharply.

What on earth is going on?

If I'm even on earth anymore.

" _Prestad? (Is there trouble?)_ " A woman in tight armor came up beside the blond I was talking to. He shook his head and said something to her. I can't believe it; they're talking elvish in front of me. It's like the Lord of the Rings.

Light bulb

LORD OF THE RINGS WHAT TH-

"Who are you guys?" I asked suddenly becoming more aware of what I've gotten myself into. If they say something that clicks then I know where I am (as crazy as that sounds). I'm no expert, but if they say a well-known name, any name, someone that I can recognize then-

"We do not need to tell someone like _you_ who we are." The she-elf glowered down at me.

Ouch.

Okay… that hurt, but I probably look super suspicious so…

A noise came from behind them. It was like a horse clops, but heavier. I felt any remaining air leave my body as I saw the most massive elk in existence stop a few feet away from me. The guards had moved to make way for the beast. Actually, they had made way for the person riding it…

 _Thranduil_

Elven King of Mirkwood.

"What do we have here…" His cold, green eyes looked down at me with complete inferiority.

"An ellon who does not know how he has come to be." The blond guard explained.

I could only gape. Then I shut my mouth and nodded once very slowly.

"Do you not know who I am ellon?" Thranduil didn't even glance at his guard and kept his sharp eyes on me.

I felt a bead of sweat trickle down my temple.

" King Thranduil." I barely heard myself and shivered. This guy was something else in person. This was terrifying. He was terrifying: terrifyingly beautiful and dangerous. His obsidian armor gleaned a murderous impression. He wore a matching circulate around his head. It contrasted with his silver blond hair perfectly.

All the while I can't believe I'm seeing Lee Pace as his real character.

He's real, Thranduil. Lord of the Rings...everything... is real.

"Hm." Thranduil gathered his elk's reigns and turned "Obviously he knows who is ruler here at least. Our business is done. Take this rogue ellon. Interrogate him further once we get back."

The guards' shoulders flew back in attention. I guess that was their ways of saying "Yes sir."

I was still in a daze when a rough hand grabbed my arm and pulled me up. I stifled a groan.

"Dude, I just fell from Earth. Could you just let me get up and follow you?" Why did I deserve to be treated like some elven prisoner?

The blonde guard glared at me "Dude? My name is not dude. It is Alonnen. You may address me as so."

I sighed "Dude is slang for a person: male or female. Anyways, I don't really know what's going on. A-And I'm kind of freaking out you get me? Where exactly are we going? The Elven King's halls?"

I was staring at the back of his head but he turned suddenly. His face was directly in front of mine in a flash: eyes deadly and face violently contorted. He grabbed the collar of my hoodie and lifted me an inch off the ground

"Until we get to our destination, not a word from you. Do you hear?" He breathed.

I gulped and bit my lip. I had to fight any incoming of tears. That's right, I'm that girl. Too much of a push and I cry tears of frustration. He didn't need to know that. What's with this jerk. I just eyed him and tried to pry his hands away.

"Got it." I said back darkly once he let me go.

Today just made a 180 degrees turn… tough.

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 **-I do not own Lord of the Rings- All characters are of their respective owner JRR Tolkien :)**

 **I hope you enjoyed. This takes place sometime before the Hobbit (I believe) The next chapter should come soon!**


	2. Chapter 2 My Sass got me thrown in Jail

As we were making our way back I noticed a certain order among the elven guards. The She-elf and Alonnen were up front along both sides of King Thranduil, yet it still seemed the Elven King was leading everyone. The other remaining guards then trailed behind in two meticulously straight lines. As for me, I was past trailing, (oh yes) I was on my knees _trudging_ behind. Keeping up with these guys was like a race between a slug and a cheetah with rocket boosters. I was a hot mess: and not in an attractive way.

It's kinda gross: the feeling of clammy skin, burning eyes, and thoroughly wet clothes. Sweat was falling directly from my forehead to my lashes: I kept on having to wipe my brow with the sleeve of my hoodie. I could feel my hair sticking to the back of my neck. Bad time for no hairband too… my hair's pretty long. That reminds me of another thing, why did they call me " _ellon"_? Doesn't that mean "male elf"? What, did my messy hair look masculine or something?

"Ahem."

I looked up.

"Oh. Hi."

One of the elf guards lagged behind for me. (Thank god, or else I'd be lost for sure.)

She was exotic looking. Even in her conforming guard uniform, her hair stood out; I've never seen such a vibrant red before. It went down to her shoulders in soft curls. Her eyes were intensely mint: the color of the forest.

"You must try to quicken your pace ellon." She said. The King and his league were already out of sight. She addressed me in a softer tone compared to what I had been exposed to. It had a kindness to it. I actually felt kind of relieved to be alone with her.

"I'm sorry. I'm not really used to this forest." I said sheepishly.

It was true too. This forest was particularly hard to navigate.

The elves skillfully covered every path to their kingdom. I'm talking fallen trees, leaves, bushes, everything… all to cover their footsteps (if they even left any). Sometimes I would look and question whether or not there was a place for me to step until I saw them walk through it. And they moved with ease. As for me, I was stumbling every five seconds while holding onto saplings and branches for balance.

It was bad.

"Also, why do you guys keep calling me ellon?" I asked as we continued "I'm not a male or an elf for that matter."

She suddenly stopped and turned. She looked at me with her green eyes funny.

"You are too an elf."

"What no I'm no-" My hands instinctively went to my ears. Sure enough, they were fleshy and pointed. **Omigod** they were POINTED. Then I looked down at my chest and slid my hands across it. Flat as a board. I nearly jumped out my skin. Even with wearing a sports bra I had some goods! I thought I just had a bigger adam's apple all of a sudden now _this_? AW MAN.

I stared back at her wide eyed "What's going on?" I whispered.

She looked at me funnier.

"I worry for you… uhm may I ask your name?"

I had to think fast at this one. My name's Elle. So what would that make me? Elleman? Dudelle? What, no. What am I thinking.

"El…Eldryn." I said as smooth as I possibly could. I hope it sounded ok.

"Eldryn, I am Cilivren. I fear you must have hit your head too hard. And they way you dress is so… strange. I will try and persuade Allonen and Lorelei to have you see a healer before you are questioned."

"Thank you but I- wait am I in some deep trouble or something? Why was that Allonen guy so salty with me?"

Her back was turned so I couldn't see her face as we trekked along but she answered.

"I don't exactly know what 'salty' is… but if you mean to ask why he is so suspicious of you it's because we were attacked not long before we found you. You were very near Dol Guldur."

Wow, great. I'm screwed. They definitely think I'm some elf in cahoots with the dark forces.

"Oook. But I'm not dangerous you see. I'm actually a female human, and I really need to get back home. My family will start to worry… I mean it's bad enough that I was found near that creepy place. You guys will let me go right?"

She didn't respond, or more of she couldn't, because we had made it to the gates of Thranduil's kingdom.

I couldn't help but gawk as the giant doors opened in unison. It let us into a place I've only seen on computer and television screens.

Mirkwood Kingdom

Living trees thousands of feet high supported the very walkways of Mirkwood Kingdom. The place was all stone: the bridges, the winding staircases, the floors and rooms. It was stunning. Sunlight poured in from above and reflected from surfaces below. There were vines and fauna everywhere. They seemed to mix with the stone perfectly and braid their way across exteriors to add elegance to the elven lands… I've not seen any other place more ethereal, more other worldly ...than this. Now that I was here, I realized just how very small my existence was. Even the water, which fell in small waterfalls above and pooled to fill creeks below, made this place a stunning dream come to life.

I was so immersed in taking in the place I didn't realize I was about to walk off the pathway of the bridge we were crossing. There was no railing so when I got the edge I realized I was looking at thousands of feet of land below.

"Oh SH-" I flailed my arms to force my weight behind me. And before I could register what came next, I was jerked with lightning speed back onto the bridge. I shook my head and saw Cilivren above me; she had grabbed my hoodie and slammed me on the ground.

"Be careful." She said.

I blinked at her trying to get past the pain. "Thanks for saving me…"

Suddenly I noticed a pair of boots came next to my head and looked up. Allonen was staring me down and commanded that I follow him. I got up on my elbows.

" _Len Hannon (thank you)_ Cilivren." I whispered to her so Allonen wouldn't hear. Her eyes flicked to mine for second before she helped me up. They said

 _You're welcome and be careful of what you say and do now._

I wondered if she believed if I was really human (who knew a little elvish). Or if she was just worried of what would happen to me if I lost it with this jerk.

I got up and followed Allonen. I couldn't help but look back at her one last time though. I think I recognized her from somewhere…

And I felt like I was parting from a friend too.

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After a while, Allonen stopped by the gates of a closed off area. I followed him in and realized in a way it was like a prison. The place was entirely made of stone and cells lined various openings. Was this the place they locked Thorin's dwarven party in? Well, looked similar to it at least.

The place smelled wet and cold: like mold. I got some weird glances from other elves coming into the kingdom. The guards here though just eyed me with serious game faces. I'd rather have the strange glances.

"If you got something to say, say it. I've got nothing to hide." I said finally once we were in a room with all four sides of cold stone. There was a lamp hanging from the ceiling and torches of firelight along the sides. In the middle was a heavy stone table and matching chairs.

"Sit." Allonen said as he pulled a chair for himself. Two other guards were at the doorway.

There goes my escape route.

I sat down opposite to him, as far away as possible.

"What were you doing so close to Dol Guldur ellon?" He made "ellon" sound like he wished he could insert "freak" instead. I blinked, you want to go son? COME AT ME!

"I have no idea. Honestly I was taking a walk in my beautiful forest today when I found myself slipping and falling into Mirkwood forest. I was near that place by chance. If you don't believe me that's your own problem." I flicked my hair behind me and leaned back in my chair.

This guy tested my patience. Something about his pretty face irked me. Like what? Did he think he was better than everyone else just because he was a little hot? You're not Thranduil beautiful so you better step the hell down and respect others fool!

He looked at me straight in the eyes the whole time, searching for evidence of lying. (Not like he's gonna find anything)

"And other questions?" I said sweetly, which sounded weird because I was male so it came as a deep purr rather than something girls do to piss other people off.

He made a face. It was a half sneer, half look of disgust. Soo sorry to waste your precious time bucko.

"What's your name."

"Eldryn."

"Where are you from Eldryn?"

"Earth."

"Where is that?"

"Some other universe from this one."

He started to look angry. Well TOO BAD. What else am I supposed to say HAH?

"Quit joking around and answer the questions. The sooner you speak, the faster this process will go." He said through clenched teeth.

I snapped.

"Ok you want the truth? I'll give you the truth. You're being so incredibly rude to a stranger in these parts because like I said, I come from a place called EARTH which isn't on your maps because it's a different world. And up until a few hours ago, I was a happy content human WOMAN. I'm sixteen years old and my name is Elle. But I found once I got here I was a man and an _elf_ so I had to then change my name and stop myself from completely freaking out. Oh, nice to meet you Allonen, when you didn't even ask for my name or at least try to understand you jerk of a guard. I swear, I know this place only by memory and film but I have never thought that an unentitled elf would EVER be as rude and degrading as _you_. I heard that your group was attacked not long before you found me, sorry about that but I had _nothing_ to do with it ok?! So why don't you quit acting like I'm some evil atrocious orc, and start treating me with a little civil respect. You think you can manage? Hm?"

Sass mode engaged.

What now.

He was quiet as he took my words in. I could see from the corner of my eye the two guards outside shift uncomfortably. I guess my voice raised in volume every sentence I said. Not like I care, I didn't break eye contact with Allonen. After a moment he moved swiftly and got up. His back turned on me and he went over to the guards. He said something in elvish and they nodded. Before I could even get up I heard a clang and keys locking solid iron.

I had just been locked in. This went swimmingly.

Ok where's Bilbo with that ring?

I am so done.

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 **Hi guys! I'm thrilled to be writing this because it's really different in mood from my other fanfiction for Inuyasha. If you have anything you want to say feel free to pipe in. I hope you like it and will be interested to see what I have in store for the future. :D Bye for now!**


	3. Chapter 3 Girl Again

Time passed sooo slowly in the cell room. It was cold, dreary, and the silence was loud enough to kill: pretty depressing if you ask me. To get my mind off things though, I engrossed myself in checking out the place from top to bottom.

I started with the ceiling lamp hanging from a vine. It was pretty nice, glass panes surrounded the light making it look like some light fixture found at a tavern or something. I tugged at it, turns out the vine was stationary and didn't swing. Huh, could have fooled me. Then, I couldn't believe it when I didn't get burned as I touched the torches along the walls. They weren't lit by fire, yet still emitted the same bright glow; it was pretty cool. I inspected the table and chairs. They were pretty standard. So then I crawled underneath: no graffiti, of course. Shame I don't have a pen on me. I'd like to doodle my story and leave a mark on this place. Although my situation wasn't all as romantic as I thought coming to an elvish kingdom would be, I _was_ in Thranduil's kingdom, in the not so real but real Middle Earth. That doesn't happen every day. So in a way I was feeling giddy, angry, and a little depressed all at the same time.

I went up to the door and looked outside. Actually it's not even a door, it's like a gate with vertical slits and eloquent melded patterning at the top. The bars were heavy and fit together perfectly. On the side I saw one of the two guards from before standing watch. They must have thought I was someone dangerous: what an honor. Or, that's just their standard position. I looked around, yup, one guard posted every cell block or so. No honor for me.

Light bulb.

I remember reading in a fanfiction about a girl who bothered the heck out of a couple of guards and they actually paid her notice. How was I any different?

"You there! Good sir." I called. I'm gonna have fun with this. "I am in a predicament you see… I can't seem to figure it out. Are all human maidens treated like this in Thranduil's kingdom? Thrown in the dungeon I mean. You know I thought that, well, there'd be some courtesy at least throughout the whole," I made a gesture with my fingers, " endeavor." I finished.

Lord knows what I was getting at. But I know he heard me because he shifted a bit, his head was still facing forward though. From the side, I could tell he had dark brown hair but I couldn't see his face. A bronze helmet covered all hopes of seeing his expressions.

"Now I know what you must be thinking. This prisoner is a crazy ellon." I let the word _ellon_ roll off my tongue for exaggeration. "I don't know what happened too really. I just found myself like this. You wouldn't know a way to turn me back right? So then I can prove to Allonen he's in denial of the truth."

I didn't add that I was also getting pretty cold down here and wanted out. My sweat had chilled me to the bone. I was starting to get a headache. Not like I would say though cuz I'm a badass for all they know!

Still no answer from guard. But this was good, I was expecting this.

"Furthermore there's has been so much going on right now, I just need someone to talk to. And you've shown me you are a great listener, I thank you: because some elves are really decent actually. I've met one other just before, and her name was Cilivren. She's really pretty if you don't know her. I wonder if all guards know each other but you should meet her if you haven't already."

I paused for a moment to inspect my poor companion. He was probably tired of hearing my chatter already. His head turned a fraction of an inch as he glanced my way.

"Well, that's more like it. Eye contact, finally."

He looked away quickly and faced forward again.

"Uh-uh. That's not how it works. I have recognized your existence and you have mine. My name's Elle. You're supposed to introduce yourself now. If not, I say a name and you _are_ that name if you don't say so otherwise."

His armor rose slowly and fell. Sigh is right dude, how do you think I feel in here?

"Oh I hate my job." I said aloud, which is most likely what he was thinking. Hehe.

"I feel you. You poor soul. But don't worry! I'll brighten up your day with bestowing you a name! Hooray!"

It was almost like he couldn't take it now.

" Tethir." One word. He had a nice deep voice at least.

"You answered! Good choice, I was about to give you the most generic name among humans: Bob." Then I laughed aloud at the thought. An elf named bob?! AHAHAHA

I quieted after I heard the last of my voice echo through the dungeon. It wasn't unpleasant sounding, just different. I mean deeper. Which made me wonder… what did I look like as a guy elf? Elves are pretty darn attractive, so was I good looking?

"Say you don't have a mir-" I started saying until something struck me. No not a thought, something really, really hard hit me. I fell back from an impact I didn't even see coming. My head felt like it was splitting apart as I yelped and balled up on the ground. I heard Tethir move suddenly too and the gate unlock.

After a moment, I started to regain my vision... _What… just happened?_ I thought trying to blink away stars.

"Ow…" I held my head in my hands. Then I realized. My voice was light and airy. Wide eyed I looked up at Tethir who stood before me. I could make out two shocked brown eyes and an open mouth.

"Tethir…" I said hearing my voice again. It was several octaves higher all of a sudden. He stared at me unblinking, lips parted almost as if he was going to say something, but didn't know what. I unzipped my hoodie in a flash and looked at my t-shirt. Would you look at that. I'm a girl again.

I'M A GIRL AGAIN! AHHHHHH!

I scrambled to get up and placed my hands on both sides of his helmet.

"I'm a girl…right?" I breathed. I was too excited to notice footsteps coming down the hall.

He only nodded, still surprised.

Beaming, I squeed in happiness and gave him a massive hug.

He still didn't know what to say or do while I jumped up and down in my excitement. But I didn't care because I was myself again!

YASS!

Then I stopped as I saw Allonen at the door.

Suddenly my happiness spell was broken.

" _Man cerig? (What are you doing)?"_ Allonen glowered at Tethir who had betrayed his post. We had already split apart but I could feel the tension now, and the misunderstanding grow.

"Alright hold up!" I said with my hands in the air. "I just had a faint spell, as you wouldn't have known. And he was considerate enough to check that I wasn't dead. And guess what? I'm a GIRL NOW." I pulled my hoodie off to show my feminine figure. "So you'd better apologize for not believing me mister! And thank Tethir for being here!"

…

Allonen looked stupefied. "You're… an elleth?" He said as he finally found his words.

"Uh no. Human." Again, I brought my hands to my ears. They were pointed…

…

"Nevermind…" I said, "But I'm a female none the less!" I stared at Allonen and challenged him to defy my undeniable proof!

He swallowed as if he had something bitter in his mouth. He then came forth and grabbed my arm pulling me out of the cell.

"Ouch, hey!" I struggled against his strength. Again with the roughness. What the heck!

"You're going to see King Thranduil." He said not looking back at me or slowing his pace.

I couldn't win against the Elven guard so I tried to quicken my pace so it wouldn't be as uncomfortable.

I turned my head back where Tethir was. I hope he wouldn't be put in any trouble because of me.

I was kind of obnoxious and he didn't deserve it.

He was standing there, smaller now as we walked further away, looking back at me.


	4. Chapter 4 The King's Deal

As I followed Allonen through various halls, under grand arches, and down winding pathways I tried to fix myself in a way so I wouldn't be too horrendous looking in front of King Thranduil. Really this just meant me running my hands through my matted hair vigorously. (I had been let go by Allonen as soon as we made it out in the open. Thank god too. I was about to lose my circulation.)

As we entered the Great Hall I noticed there was a gathering of other elves. I felt a chill run down my spine. My headache was back in full force. And I was shaking at the core. When one was feeling and looking the way I was at the moment, it was _not_ the time to meet the majestic King of Mirkwood. My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest, and I kind of wanted to jump over Allonen's head and run away.

Oh crap, people are looking now.

In the middle of the hall, I slowly let my gaze wander over the crowd that had accumulated along the sides. Not that there were a lot of people, but enough to make me feel like a leaf. I shook my head; I think I was starting to feel faint. I heard them whisper among themselves.

It was probably my T Shirt. Or my jeans. Or whatever else they had heard about me.

Finally, my gaze met the Elven Kings.

He was looking at me with indifference. One hand supported the edge of his chin and the other was draped dashingly over the arm of his throne. His legs were crossed: showing long legs covered in knee high boots. On his head was a glistening crown of golden twig and red fern leaves. I didn't realize I was holding my breath until I reflexively gasped for air.

Great start Elle.

Thankfully, Thranduil spoke first.

"I hear from my guardsmen you are quite the peculiar elf." His voice was powerful and addressed all corners of the hall. I nearly jumped out of my skin.

Ok I'll just say right now thank god for American Girl Dolls, ballet, and Pride and Prejudice. I properly learned how to curtsy because of them.

I inhaled.

"Yes, King Thranduil." I said while extending my left leg behind my right with my toe pointed to the ground. I kept my back straight and leaned my head slightly forward. I parted my forearms to the sides as if I had a full skirt and I lowered myself, knees bending out, as deep as I could.

I rose back up. My legs burned. Boy, I'm out of shape. "Indeed I am."

I made a fleeting attempt to sound graceful. I hope my voice didn't betray the freaking out I contained on the inside.

"And so I see." He replied. "You are very different looking as an elleth."

Really? I didn't know if he was amused with my gender swap or just intrigued.

"In truth, I am human: a human girl. I found myself in your forest as an ellon." I could feel myself gaining confidence as I wished to speak my story. I lifted my head and looked about the room addressing everyone in the hall.

" I have heard I was found near an unfortunate place. And I have thus been treated with suspicion," I looked at my side glancing back at Allonen who stood a pace behind me coupled with another guard "for safeties sake."

"But" I continued meeting Thranduil's eyes once again, "I assure you King Thranduil I am no one dangerous. I am but a lost soul in your kingdom, and must return home: a home that is very much far away." My voice had become stony as I thought about my family. I hope that too much time hadn't passed on earth.

He looked at me for a moment. "And do you seek for assistance to return?"

I could feel the hidden message within his question. Here was a king who would not just help anyone unless he gained something in return. I made myself not falter. I don't know how much longer I could last though, my head was pounding.

"Yes." I said plainly, confidently, not breaking eye contact. "I do."

I spoke again before anything else could be said.

"And in return, I offer to bestow my knowledge of this world and that of my own: to the furthest of my extent. I also would be honored to provide my services as an artisan; I draw, paint, and sing."

I really hope that my mind was not betraying me. I couldn't think straight anymore, it was getting so hot all of a sudden. I wonder if I was standing straight. Everything was pretty much true, but I'm scared to death it's not enough.

I could see Thranduil's eyes glisten as he weighed his options. He had taken a glass halfway filled with wine and spun the liquid contemplatively around before taking a sip. He then addressed me again tipping his head slightly to the side.

"I am interested in what you have to offer. So interested in fact, you may prove yourself with the opportunity to sing at the next festival two weeks from the morrow. Prove your worth, along with the other attributes you so claim, and I will make sure you return home aided."

I sucked in an uneven breath and curtsied deeply again.

"It would be my pleasure, King Thranduil."

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I walked in silence behind Allonen and another guard as I was led to my new chambers.

There had been a leveling off somewhat now that I was not considered a threat by the King. I was still to be guarded though as I found out. Not that I cared, my head was swimming with thoughts. I had two weeks to impress elves at a festival. _Elves._ How could a sixteen year old girl like me find a song to knock their socks off ? I swayed. Suddenly the world was tilting on an axis. I tried to say something about it, but as soon as they turned around my world went hazy

and blacked out.


	5. Chapter 5 I've Got a Place Now

"Mm…" I groaned as I awoke. You know that feeling when you wake up and instead of feeling refreshed, you feel heavy, sore and more tired? Oh yeah. That was me. As my eyes lazily adjusted to the down pour of light that the ceiling allowed, I glanced around the new room I found myself in. It was clean and simple- earthy- but was comfy in its elvish way. It had beige walls and heavy wooden accents; I think the it was connected to other parts of a home. Then my eyes met another pair of eyes.

"WAH! Cilivren! You scared me!"

I sprang up. Cilivren was peering at me from the side of the mattress I had been laying on. (Wow! I remembered her name. 1 point for me). She was in an olive uniform and had less armor on since the last time I saw her. Her fiery hair was kept back by double braids.

She didn't speak for a long time which made me kind of uncomfortable. Why was she just sitting…staring at me?

Finally she broke the silence.

"So… what sorcery befell you?"

"…What?" (Suddenly I thought my voice was hoarser than normal just after waking up.)

"Well, you were seemingly male until you…became a female the other evening, like you told. Yet now…you are clearly male again."

I felt like an idiot just staring at her. My head wasn't allowing her words to register.

But then I brought my hands to my chest.

Jeezus.

I then hung my head in my hands.

"This is a dream right? Some messed up dream that was supposed to be awesome but ended up biting my-"

"I think you should rest more Eldryn." Cilivren cut me off before I could spew any profanity, "Although your fever is gone, you're still ill. A strange spectacle for being an Elf… well, that is, if you are human as you say, it shouldn't be so strange."

She got up like she was about to go.

"Wait!" I almost reached for her wrist but thought better and lowered my arm "Uh what am I supposed to do now?" Ok. I never was a smooth person to begin with… but even for me, I was cringing at my own inability to act. Talk about Elven pride. I had none. Is this how guys feel when they don't "man up"?

She raised one fine eyebrow at me.

"I suggest you clean and change, then start practicing for your performance. Our King expects much from his musicians." I knew she meant well with this…but she just freaked me out instead. With that, she went out the door and closed it behind her.

Sighing inwardly all the events of last night started to come back. I was still in my grimy clothes. I didn't have my phone. And I didn't quite have a clue where to start on finding a way to impress the King if I kept on switching genders...

But I had to start the day somehow.

I saw on a dresser opposite to the bed there was a clean change of clothes.

Ok. Game plan time.

1) Clean up the best I can.

2) Get changed (and hope there's an extra brush somewhere).

3) Go out and explore… and pray I'll meet good folks who'll help me with my performance?

#1) -Ever wondered about Elven bathrooms look like? -

I think I was given a common dwelling judging by the size of the room. To be honest, it's one of the nicest little places I've ever been in- even more so since being thrown in a jail cell.

I walked around for a bit to familiarize myself. There was my bedroom- which on one side had a fireplace and opening to the other parts of the dwelling: and on the other side, was a nice window and door that led to the outside world where Cilivren departed. Along a wall were a dresser and a mirror. Next to the bed was a lamp, tiny table and a chair. A moss rug covered the wooden floor. Down a hall I made my way to an inclusive eating space and kitchen… then finally to the bathroom. With my change of clothes in hand, I took a moment to gape.

Just looking at the interior of the place made me start to forget the graveness of my situation…It was beautiful…

Although the bathroom was fairly compact, there was a little stream that fell from an opening in the wall to be used as a shower. The water was clear and pooled in a little circular puddle. The whole place was filed stone which was complemented perfectly by the lighting. Vines and greenery blended in everywhere. Imagine an organic fauna toilet and sink display.

Wow.

That being said, the stream shower was so, soooo cold. Not ok. I spent my entire life basking in the pleasures of hot showers. I have been ungrateful (T-T)

Also, I haven't felt more awkward about going to the bathroom and showering in my life. I tried my hardest not to look down. I mean. In the end, I knew everything was there. Lord almighty. Why me? What do I say to my future husband?

"Hey! I had one of those too one time."

UGHHHHH.

#2) – The Dressing Problem-

Elvish clothing is so light. I put on the undergarments and they fit like they weren't even there. I think they're cotton…but they didn't have a clothing label. Anyways the tights were next and were dark green. They gave me a pair of boots and a beige tunic that had a slit v neck.

As I was changing into the tights in my bedroom, a sharp knock on the door had me nearly fall over. I scrambled over to the window and peered from the drawn curtains and heard

"It is Allonen! Open the door! The court musicians seek your presence at once."

So, I'm scrambling at this point to put on the rest of my clothes before this dude comes barging in without my consent. _Can't a girl get some privacy_? And when I do get to the door and open it, he nearly slams my face from pushing it forward too hard.

Thank you, life. Thank you.

I scowl.

"Just give me a sec will ya?" He's not getting any respectful speech from me. No sir! And why do I have to face him so much anyways? Why not send poor, quiet Tethir instead? (I hoped he wasn't serving time in jail instead of me after what happened).

At this point I realize (again) even as a male elf, I'm lacking in size. Allonen looks very powerful and put together. He's got some hard pressed armor over his chest, but besides that he's wearing less formal attire underneath: an olive green tunic and dark pants with elven guard boots.

And here I am. A head and a half smaller, definitely not quite as fit, and messily dressed with wet strands of hair dampening my tunic.

I go back to the mirror to dispel any further conversation and try my best to tie the side strands of my hair into a small ponytail at the back of my head. Focusing on my reflection I realize my face doesn't look all that bad (another point for Elven genes!).

I have a higher bridged nose, straight black hair (my natural hair color stayed the same at least), pale skin, thin pink lips, intense and full eyebrows that define dark, onyx eyes and thick lashes.

Huh. As a girl, I might've fallen for my guy…self?

Hey. No shame.

Anyways, I guess I'll have to save hair brushing for later.

#3) –Uhhh can I please have a map pamphlet of this place?-

I end up following Allonen in complete silence. I glance about trying to seem like I've been living here my whole life: but I know with my plainly uncomfortable air and tad-too-dark hair, I'm sticking out like a sore thumb. I'm also try to make note of where I am because let's face it… I'm gonna be lost when this guy leaves me.

I notice that the people about stop when we pass by. At first I think it's me and I look down. Actually though, it's Allonen. They greet him. Some whisper. Other's talk to themselves. Allonen's only response is a curt nod when he chooses.

I fade away behind him.

We enter through a large columned bridge supported by stone pillars into another great cavern where there are various intersections. There are a few elves rushing about. They look busy and some have foreign looking books or instruments in hand. I see the carvings of the walls, I stare at the paintings near the ceiling, and they're all scenes of festivities and music. The artwork is incredible, the craftsmanship intimidating. I can't believe I'm witnessing this! I squeal inwardly and bring my hands up to my mouth, not even caring if I look weird.

But then we stop and I almost knock into Allonen, again.

We've come into a secluded hall, he turns to me.

"The musicians know only as much as they need to. You are under some spell which explains (a slight pause) your gender switch."

His expression changes a bit into something I can't quite discern: something in between graveness and wariness.

Although I feel slightly cross and sad with still being viewed like this, I know that if any random person from a dangerous place came into such a secluded place… no one would be comfortable. I could be some terrible living omen for all they know.

I guess I can let it go for now.

I nod and lower my eyes. He clears his throat a little in response and leaves, and I take a deep breath and open the tall double doors to the room where the court musicians wait.

* * *

 **Hi there! Thank you for all of your patience! I'm sorry for great lengths of waiting... and hope you enjoyed!**


	6. Chapter 6 The Cup to School Them All

For some reason, I felt like I would see bombshell angel women akin to the Muses from Hercules when I walked into the room. They'd be standing in all their shiny gloriousness to meet me and we'd make a connection because of our mutual affection for music. What _actually_ happened was like the terrible moment when you're late for class in school and everyone's already sitting so they suddenly stop and turn their heads in unison to look at you.

Boy, can it be any _more_ awkward here?

A weird unease settles in my stomach: although it could just be that funny squelching feeling of not eating breakfast after waking up.

I stare at the six musicians. They're sitting in a semi-circle facing me, and all have different instruments either in their hands or about them. The age range of the group is mixed. There's the wise old man figure. There's a small girl elf that looks even younger than me (she still has baby fat which makes her face round and cute looking). There's two other women and two other males.

And likewise, they stare back at me. Until one speaks

"So you are the one we've been expecting." The old man elf says in a surprisingly rich, smooth voice.

"I uh- yeah I, I guess. I hope I haven't made you all wait too long?" (Lord what do I say.)

One of the women shakes her head and sets her funny looking guitar down, it looks like a cool version of a mandolin.

"We have heard of your current state of affairs, we'd like to hear you sing." She says.

The other woman next to her adds

"Do you play?" indicating to the instruments close to them.

This is where I can feel a cold sweat start to form on my hands and feet. I play violin: I continued as part of an after school orchestra once starting senior year, but at most we play intermediate scores: also I'm in the second violin section and I can't play third position for my life like the way the first section does (God bless their souls).

That's besides the point though because I'm now scanning the room for anything remotely familiar to a violin, or some instrument I can at least try to play. There is no plug-in piano. No ukulele (not sure it would help though). I can't really do anything with their singular hand drums, or elaborately looking stringed instruments (probably tuned to _not_ be like a violin and with a few too many more strings). I can't play harp or their pretty flutes.

The pregnant silence continues as I try to buy more time. I turn to every corner of the room and trying to not become more panicked with each passing second. I was starting to despair until I looked toward the door wall and found a table with tall wooden cups and matching pitchers full of drink. (Water I presume because of the need of it after long bouts of singing)

Then it hits me.

"Can I.. borrow this cup?" I asked as I made my way too it. They all looked at me funny, but I didn't care because _man_ was this cup perfect.

(So eco-friendly too because they don't use plastic here!)

"Ye-s…" The old man replies elongating the yes as to deem uncertain.

"I've got this pops don't worry, like, this is all I have for you guys because I didn't prepare what to sing beforehand just hear me out Ima use this table too here ok?"

I didn't wait for them to answer.

God I hope this works.

I take a deep breath and-

 _Clap clap_

 _Tap, tap, tap_

 _Clap_

 _Pick, place_

 _Clap, pick, clap, tap, clap_

 _And place_

I do it twice.

Then

" _I got my ticket for the long way round'_

 _Two bottles of whiskey for the way_

 _And I sure would like some sweet company_

 _And I'm leaving tomorrow, what do you say?_

 _When I'm gone_

 _When I'm gone_

 _You're gonna miss me when I'm gone~_

 _You're gonna miss me by my hair_

 _You're gonna miss me everywhere, oh_

 _You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone~._

 _I got my ticket for the long way round'_

 _The one with the prettiest of views_

 _It's got mountains_

 _It's got rivers_

 _It's got sights to give you shivers_

 _But it sure would be prettier with you_

 _When I'm gone_

 _When I'm gone oh_

 _You're gonna miss me when I'm gone_

 _You're gonna miss me by my walk_

 _You're gonna miss me by my talk, oh_

 _You're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone~."_

The last time I set the cup on the table the clack resounds in the room louder than I imagined.

I take a chance and peek up.

...

Oh boy, what's with their faces.

Just, completely dumbfounded.

Constipated.

Except the little girl is…trembling?

Then suddenly she shouts

"THAT'S SO AMAZING CAN YOU TEACH ME IT?!"

* * *

-In the King's Hall-

"I don't trust him."

"Her."

" _It."_

Thranduil said nothing in response but smiled, a small amused twitch of his lips as he made his way over to the table with a silver platter set with wine glasses and a pitcher of ruby liquid.

"You speak as if she were an orc, Allonen." He says as he pours himself and his guest a drink.

"Well. She is not one of us."

To that the King nodded for this was true, but then he turned to face the other.

Allonen's eyes were the same as his father's: both in shape and with the serious streak that Thranduil felt very reminiscent of.

" _Mellon_ (Friend)," the Elven King began " You and I have known each other for a long time. Our fathers held each other in great esteem… and just because the two have gone, perished from the same darkness, does not mean we will succumb all the same." He then offered a glass to his captain of the guard, which Allonen humbly refused.

Thranduil simply shrugged, knowing that he was not much of a drinker anyways. Allonen was always so much stricter, even more than his father-the past captain- was if Thranduil recalled correctly. Not that his own father was any less uptight when he ruled as king.

He wondered how long it had been since they were young, taking sword lessons from their fathers. Years ago, too many.

"It is only you and I now Allonen" The King said aloud and more subdued.

His guard kept quiet

Returning back to the original topic Thranduil took a sip of his cup before he said "It is far too quiet here you know. Time passes both quickly yet so, so slow. It's boring: dreary." He stared at his reflection on the wine's surface "She is no threat." he said with a smirk. It was a joke to even think about.

"I know why you worry. But you must let go of what happened. This one can not do harm to anything, to me and you, my people: all this." He gestured to the space around him: his kingdom.

"I think things will be quite entertaining from now on." He finished his drink, satisfied.

Allonen frowned, a trademark wrinkle in his brow begins to form.

"But she cannot stay here My Lord."

"That's right. Sooner or later she will need to get back to wherever she came from," Thranduil placed his hand on Allonen's shoulder "I suggest you train her combat in order to make for the journey to Galadriel's people. The Lady will know how to get her back, or have something for you there."

Allonen looked as if he was about to say something in retaliation, but Thranduil had already made up his mind. He walked away to the double doors, his bronze cloak trailing behind him before calling out

"You're dismissed."

And nothing could swipe the new amuse off his lips.

Allonen, alone in the hall, brooded over his friend and superior's way of toying with him.

* * *

 **Hi guys I've been dead (forgive me) and now suddenly am writing again...? Anyways I don't own any of the stuff I put in here. ( I can't really say I know the exacts of details in the LOTR universe either so sorry if timelines gets mixed?) Obviously I did not create Pitch Perfect either or the cup song but if you guys want to know which cover I took from his name is RaRaRileyStraw on Youtube. Also thanks Quinn Aries for kicking me back in gear. Quinn has awesome art on deviant art for this story like check it out please please I can't get over how amazing it is, the account is ****Seraphenaparks .** **Bye guys :)**


	7. Chapter 7 Pinky Promise

"Are you really a girl?"

The little choir elf and I sat on some stones outside of the music hall. With the session being over, conversation brought us at length into the afternoon.

"Sure am! Though I don't look like it do I?"

She shakes her head: the kind of way little girls do. You know, when they go fwipping their head from side to side so that their hair gets all over their face. It falls, tangled in front of her eyes.

I smile and bring my hand out slowly to brush the fine auburn hairs away. You know, she kind of reminds me of my little cousin. All cute and stuff, I can't help but warm up. I move to take her braided ringlet in hand and start to straighten it behind her head.

"I'll be changing back into a girl (I hope) come sunset, so maybe you'll get to see some real magic with your own eyes, howz about it?"

"Really?"she pipes, trying to look back at me.

I grin and straighten her head to continue, "Yeah sure! When we walk back ok?"

(I hope I don't faint on the floor and make a scene oh dear Jesus)

I finish her braid and take a moment to pause, "You know kid you might just be my first openly nice friend around here (other than Cilivren maybe? But even then she's pretty...stoic?) I was starting to feel a little hopeless... so thanks for sticking up for me back there."

I'm talking about after when she shouted out that my little stunt from earlier today actually counted as music.

The cup song had gotten a mix of reviews to put it lightly. The old man snuffed any chances of me actually performing at the banquet from what he'd heard until little kid here started making a fuss. Eventually one by one the other corresponding members relented. I still have a place amongst them for next meeting at least.

1 point for Hufflepuff.

You know, if word had gone out I was some mistake. I don't know what would've happened.

So, I ended up hanging out with Angel McSmalls in the end. I taught her the cup song. Apparently the kid's name if Gladwell, which means song of gold. Her parents named her really well too because she absolutely blew me away with her voice.

Grown man tears were shed.

Well, he-man-she-man tears.

He-she tears.

Sigh.

(Whatever my tears are considered as)

(She was so adorableeee though, ahhhh!)

I found out that she's the youngest of the music group. Her Gramps is the old man. His name is Idhrenion. Er... maybe? I forgot, oops. I'll just refer to him as gramps.

There are two women who are twins named lindariel and linnadheil (I have yet to be able to distinguish who is who though…) They are the second eldest.

Then there are two other guys named Maethirion and Nithron. The latter of which is closer to Gladwell's age (although he's still older by some years so maybe that would mean that she is like a grade-schooler still and he is an elven tween?)

*Shrugs*

Wish I knew.

So as we started walking back, Gladwell tugs at my sleeve "Eldry- I mean Elle! Don't worry about today ok! I'm sure that everyone will like your new songs. We just learn the songs passed down from our parents, from their parents, from alllll the great founders of music, as grandfather says."

Gladwell gestures with her arms signifying the vastness of their musical history. All I see are her tunics' sleeves waving like flags as she exclaims with a twinkle in her golden eyes. Though I still listen, I can't help but think. It's a funny thing having her explain to me what music is like here when I realize she doesn't know any of the musical genres of the modern world: I wonder how things differently on Middle Earth. There's no Bach, Mozart or Tchaikovsky. No today's pop hits, rap, rock: no anything. How do I explain to this kid the depth of musical theory as I know it? How do I bring over music from a completely different planet anyways? Would anyone believe me that these pieces even exist and are revered? Or the songs that I sing are actually sung by people out there in my country or something?

It's a sobering thought.

Gladwell stops walking and looks up at me worried, "Ittle be ok Edr- Ell-" the words muddle in her mouth.

I shake my head and laugh a little. "No don't worry about me kid, I'm fine." I pat her head "We just gotta do the best we can right? And you can call me anything you want, because at this point it doesn't matter to me. I'm a little bit of everything and so are you."

"Hmm. Ok" she cups her chin ,pensive, then stops and blinks at me. " Your face looks different now!"

I blink too. Did I change?

...I squish my boobs.

No pain this time?!

YOOOOO!

WHA-

What is even happening.

"UHHH…."

... I let go of my chest.

...

" You SEE? TADAAAA! Magic!"

I add jazz hands.

It's underwhelming.

Her eyes get all big and shiny though.

Oops. Abort, ABORT.

" Alright Gladwell," I kneel to face her at eye level "Don't go spreading around it's actual magic Kay? (And don't do what I just did with my chest) This going to stay our little secret how's that?" (because I don't even know what changes me for reals, and I've freaked enough people out already)

She nods.

I nod and hold out my pinky.

She stares.

I put on my best Harry Potter puppet pal Dumbledore voice "This the pinky promise. It is an agreement done by friends to keep things unspoken. It may never, ever be broken...ever."

She nods vigorously and returns my action.

Having successfully taught the promise I get back up "Good! Thank you very much, now, which way is home? It's getting a little darker out yes?" I try to steer her back on track to her parents and away from my boob growth transformation.

She chatters then, attention successfully diverted, showing me all of the little landmarks that distinguish certain paths all the way back to her dwelling…and I try to utilize whatever she said to get back to mine.

* * *

*BAM BAM BAM*

I spring up from the mattress with a shout.

"MOTHER OF- WHO THE-"

Who in their right minds does this shit every morning?

Another bang at the door.

"It is Cilivren! Eldryn, answer! You've an order from the king and we are to meet at the training grounds immediately!"

What.

HAH!?

DONT THEY KNOW ABOUT BEAUTY SLEEP?!

"Allonen awaits us as I speak!"

...

...

...

C'MAWN MAN!


End file.
